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see what it says up there? "complicated randomness." that's basically what you're going to get. COMPLICATED rants and RANDOM ravings.

oh, and if you get past the incoherent babbling...then you've gone too far =)
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Apr. 26th, 2009 @ 12:57 am why i think i love words
Current Music: making april - driveway (acoustic)
i love words because words let me fall in love with you.

of course, i couldn't fall in love with the way you looked.  i don't trust everything i see.

i didn't feel a spark of electricity when your eyes looked into mine or when our fingers first entwined.  none of that ever happened.

all i had were words.  your words.  your lies, your sarcasm, your encouraging optimism.  i put my faith in those words.  i clung to them, rested on them, grasped them and held them tightly to my chest as if holding onto my last breath.

your words restored me.  and i feel, as a damsel in distress, it is only the most miniscule recompense...if i devote my future to the one who saved my life.  the english language.

~*~*~*~

ah, maybe a bit too...overboard?  haha.  but please forgive.  it is early in the morning.  and...i'm...err...

dance always makes me feel like writing.  same thing with music.  and writing always makes me want to dance or play music...aha.  (which is why i can never hand in any paper on time =P.)

just came home from dance competition.  haven't been to one of those in a while XP but now that i'm on designated driver duties, i have no choice but to attend all sorts of strange and peculiar events.  especially at the worst times.  (got back to the house after midnight.  which is a slight problem in itself, but i'd rather not be taken to jail -- thank you very much -- so i won't explain that any further.  btw papa was hiding out in the truck, sleeping.  ...really?  haha.  that sure was a safe move on my dad's part since his bike was stolen from our driveway just last week =PPP.)

been on a sort of photo fetish.  just lately.  'cuz i realized how rare it's become to take pics with my cellphone so i decided to balance it out by becoming a phone photographer again.  d'love to tell the story of every day with pictures =) particularly today.

took a pic of one of the hallways in the school the dance competition was held in...oh, wait.  photobucket!



i seem to have this thing for staircases that are out of the way or closed off.  i really have no reason to be so infatuated with them haha.  i guess i just keep thinking there's a secret portal that people are trying to hide...or...i think will parry found lyra belacqua after he climbed a set of stairs he wasn't sure of, didn't he?  =)  haha it's a his dark materials reference.  anyways.  i was in one of the state's biggest malls (if not THE biggest) a few days ago.  my friend and i decided to take a shortcut instead of trying to find the escalator.  i saw a sign that said "elevator", but it was all the way off to the side.  took a chance anyway.  our feet were tired.  ended up braving it out through a winding corridor with no one else in it and then finding this weird staircase that had no "exit" sign.  in fact, i don't even think it was finished.  no paint, some holes here and there so we could clearly see the plumbing (?).  and my friend told me we had to go back 'cuz we didn't even know which door to get out of.  there weren't any numbers to distinguish floor levels and for all we knew, the doors could just lead to the outside.  or even worse: the basement.  and we could just be stuck down there with mannequins made out of living plastic!  ehh another sci-fi reference haha.

before she pulled me out of there, i held my friend back to take a pic.  erased her or else she'll kill me =P so that's what the white smudge is.




and last pic.  (i was going to go all flashback-y and put up a picture of me in my first dance competition costume...but nah haha.  i was tragic when it came to pictures back then.)  weirded out by the fact that my former dance school was holding the competition.  i've always been on the competitive side of things -- the stress of having hair perfect and making it stay perfect, practicing last-minute in the hallway, keeping in time with everyone else in the group, quick costume changes, not collapsing after doing a 3-minute performance "full-out", getting hotel reservations for the night so we could all stay up and have pillow fights together haha.  i knew about carrying trophies and ribbons home, not giving them out to other dance studios.  it was just weird for me.  oh, and what was even weirder was that they were selling trophies for cheap.

guess how much.



if you can read sideways-ish, it tells ya right there.  $15.  and i actually witnessed a guy buy one!  i've only had an urge to buy a trophy once.  and that was when i found out there was a trophy store near my house, and i could have it engraved to say anything i wanted...

sooooo many possibilities XD.

but it's 2 am now.  and i really should get to sleep.  gotta wake up early later...important business to run.  XP

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hugh laurie
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Nov. 25th, 2008 @ 09:11 pm story starters
aw bless!

i'll take care of you.

imagine all the things i could do to you
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hugh laurie
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Nov. 25th, 2008 @ 06:57 pm for vanity
people need to say they do good deeds just to look good.  ( even if they don't, they'll offset the liars who'd rather live with guilt than admit selfishness. )

i meant to start off this blog with the thing that's been worrying me the most this morning: my new tutoree.  didn't really plan that "words from a wise cynic" thing.  but...hmm.  words from a wise cynic...is saying "wise cynic" redundant?  XP

to get back on track -- i think i am pretty vain, endeavoring to tutor katie in spanish.  i'm hoping i can really make a difference.  to both katie (because i have so much confidence in my mad linguistic skillz) *and* my teacher who asked the class if anyone could help her out.  i think senora vazquez needs someone to give her hope, nay REMIND her, that no student is incapable of learning.

and apparently, i think i'm the person who can do that.  (could this just be another half-assed project that i get so excited about but never finish?  could this be me trying to make up for the mistakes i've made in my own spanish class?  ...like i said.  no one really needs to know why you do something good if you know it in your heart.  people who promote decreasing pollution just so they look like they care about the environment are STILL helping out the cause.)  no one else in the class raised her hand.  maybe things would have been different if someone had.

i get this sense of overwhelming pride.  it's the vanity.  it's like...getting passed the glass jar that has a freakishly tight lid on.  the other people who've tried to unscrew the lid failed miserably while you watched on in anxiousness, all the while thinking, "oh!  oh!  pass it to me!  i could totally open that if you let me at it...".  and then you finally get the jar.  and you're like "yes!  it's my turn now.  watch me open this thing."  when you get the lid in one hand and the opened glass jar in the other, a wave of accomplishment washes over you as if you just reached the summit of mount everest.

and everyone does this =P.  haha.  it's an intrinsic trait that somehow society's developed.  everyone wants to prove they're worth something.  even something as simple as being the only one who could open that jar that one time.  everyone wants to mean something to another person.  everyone wants to be important.

i want to be important.

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hugh laurie
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Nov. 24th, 2008 @ 07:33 am you say...i only hear what i want
i think.

watson used to be quite clever.  (i mean...he *is* a doctor.)  but after years of palling around with holmes, he gave up.  at first, he was amazed and enjoyed being stupefied by holmes' brilliant deductions.  but at least, he gave his opinions on cases.  soon, holmes took over both of their intelligence quotas put together.  not enough room in their friendship for two brains AND holmes's ego =P

what if.

just for once, the conversation went like this.

HOLMES: elementary, my dear watson!
WATSON: are you inferring that i am too thick to comprehend even the most mediocre problem, holmes?  IS it elementary?  is it so elementary that anyone couldn't have figured it out?  why do people call on your services then?  hmm?  stop saying everything is easy for you.
HOLMES: *evil glare*


anyways.  late for school.  bleh.  g2g.
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hugh laurie
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Nov. 4th, 2008 @ 09:02 pm kidding me??? (a quick rant)
I SWEAR!

this is why i hate 24/7 news channels! 

***just after flipping the channel to such a station***
guy at the desk:  wow.  so you can just see green?
me thinking:  ...uhh...the democrats are blue, the republicans are red.  what the hell are you talking about???
guy standing in front of a green screen:  yah.
me thinking:  idiot.
guy at the desk:  oh.  so we can see it better than you can?  all you see is the green screen...
me thinking:  oh.  sorry.  not idiots.  sorry, sorry, sorry!
green screen guy:  *chuckles*
me thinking:  ...wait.  is this just idle chatter...?
guy at the desk:  *keeps praising green screen guy*  wow, you're so good knowing where to point and stuff.
me thinking:  ...oh, god, this is beyond idiotic.  where's your focus, people?!

(and then they were done with green screen guy, and the desk guy must have been surprised or caught off guard.)

guy at the desk:  oh...sooooo where were we?
me thinking:  why do i even bother?
***

now i know that 24/7 news channels must have...some sort of purpose :-P but personally, i think they can do more harm than good.  there ISN'T enough news to fill up 24 hours of television, 7 days a week.  there really isn't.

stations will try to get quite intelligent analysts to speak on a topic.  and for trying to share well-informed opinions with the public, i commend the news stations.  but to fill up time, these smart, educated thinkers will start rambling and talking nonsense.  there's only a certain amount of time a people can talk before they can't think of anything else to say.

generally, that's what happens with news stories.  they become overanalyzed, overly discussed.  small things turn into big deals just because the news channels have to fill up more time.  (the opposite happens as well.  when there are a lot of major stories happening in the same time period, the news show producers have to prioritize and pick which one will get covered more.  then the other ones will get less air time than they usually would had there not been this other *bigger* thing happening at the same time.)

and the public can react in two ways.  #1 they can get sick and tired of hearing the same old news again and again.  important phrases that would have made great newspaper headlines more than half a century ago become so cliche.  and the stories just get old and forgotten.  they'd be more interested in what's for dinner tonight than spend ANOTHER day talking about the stock market or the state of our economy...when they really should be more affected by it.

or #2.  the public can get so obsessed with following updates on a trivial news story that they forget everything else.  or they let this news story affect their everyday lives.  that's what happened with all the kidnappings in the last few decades.  (thank goodness, we don't hear as many as we used to before!)  parents don't let their kids go outside of the house because they're so afraid of kidnappings.  if they paid more attention to the statistics and less time having their eyes glued to the news on tv, they'd see that the number of kidnappings have been going down.  back in the 50s, 60s, 70s, children were in greater danger than they are now.  but they didn't report that.  parents didn't hear about it on the news.  why?  because there were no 24/7 news channels!

the 24/7 news channels have created a society made up of paranoid, delusional, ill-informed people who hang on reporters' words with either too much criticism or not enough.

here, i say "less is more."  these stations have their time and place.  but i don't think that their time should be 24 hours, 7 days a week...unless a certain news story calls for constant coverage.  (but i'll only allow that once a month.)  and at that time, what we need are coherent news reporters to hold our attention with real, reliable facts and strong, supported opinions.

only THEN will i really appreciate the purpose of 24/7 news channels.
***

(wow, it feels good getting back to unrestrained ranting.  but i should be getting back to my homework now XP...and more power to you if you got through all of that!!  i really only planned on writing the stupid conversation up at the top i had with the tv.  ok, thanks.)

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irresponsible
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Nov. 2nd, 2008 @ 11:04 am the result of watching too many youchoob vids @_@
so yah.  i *may* be taking my blog to the next level: the VLOG.  (dun dun duuuuuuuuunn!)  something i've always wanted to do for a while now ^.^ a podcast, a radio show...something.  but that's still in the works.  and by "in the works", i mean that it's one of the many projects i've been psyched about but never have the time, resources, or determination =P to go through with.

for one.  my webcam doesn't feel like working for me anymore.  not after accidentally dropping it on the floor >_> <_< ...and!  i think i need a real camera.  a digital camera.  because i can't even edit the video my webcam shot.  the audio works fine, but the actual vid part goes too fast and...it's all bleh.

anyways!  i shall postpone my vlogging dream until i get meself a proper camera.  =)

on another note...yesterday was the start of NaNoWriMo.  this huuuuuge writing contest, which i've just recently found out is worldwide...how naive i am XP.  i tried last year, but gave up really early =P.  not enough time, i'm tellin' ya!  and so i haven't even considered doing it this year what with all the homework i have to catch up on...and a new project "in the works" XD.  someone i know in school's doing it this year, so best of luck to her.  i think she has to write about 175 pages, if i remember correctly...but usually, i don't.

the whole NaNoWriMo thing gets me in that writer's mood, you know?  when...you hear snippets of conversations from other people here and there, and you automatically think, "wow!  that's great dialogue!  i could work that into a story...".  or.  you just start narrating your world as you see it, and your descriptions just sound so good in your head that you ***have*** to write them down.

as i looked out the dusty and broken window, i could see my reflection and past that, the green, green grass calling, waving oh so carelessly.

(well, that was a stupid example =P.  but then again, i'm not in writing mode.  more in blogging/ranting mode.)

similes and metaphors come to your head so easily, and they're the most imaginative things you've ever had the fortune to think up =).  it's spectacular!  i call it my writing high.

*sigh* memories of writing haha...*snaps out of it* oh!  gotta go to church.  when i come back (and if i feel like procrastinating on my homework which...i'm trying hard not to =P), i think i'm gonna take a leaf out of my 10-page name essay.

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hugh laurie
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Oct. 29th, 2008 @ 09:54 am you need a little faith in humankind ::happy frown::
aww.  *sigh*.  maybe i'll start blogging again.

when i hear stories of people who...live absolutely incredible lives, and they're not just for show...it really makes me want to change.  change the way i see other people, change the way i think and have been thinking for months.  the whole world isn't miserable.  the cynics who think they know everything because they know all about inconvenient truths aren't always right.  the paranoiacs who don't trust in anyone else but themselves aren't the safest.

tv shows and movies usually show the darker side of things.  they always have the cynics and the paranoiacs pointing fingers at the hero, saying "i told you so!  you can't win your battles.  you need to learn what reality is."  and to make the hard, depressing point really sink in, the hero doesn't get the happy ending everyone hopes for.  happy endings are so cliche for modern society.  we want to see "the truth".  if everything's perfect, then it's not real...right?  (i know i subscribed to that theory.  most of the stories i write don't have that clear-cut perfect ending.  they usually have characters struggling past the end of the last chapter.  no resolution.  or if there is a resolution, it's the one you didn't want because i used to think that was more satisfying than having an ending that was too good to be true.)

well, now i'm starting to think that things can be perfect without being fake =)

people aren't always liars and cheats, and they don't have ulterior motives.  what you see is what you get.  and what you get is amazing, spectacular, mind-blowingly brilliant!  ^.^

there really are people out there who write silly little love notes without being naive.  there are people who will see a homeless person out on the cold street and give him or her a warm blanket and some food.  there are people who see criminals and will lend them money if they need it instead of blowing them off because they think people who commit felonies don't deserve kindness or can't be trusted anymore.

my favorite example is that there are people who will confide in a stranger all of their secrets, share this strange connection that can't be explained, and walk away feeling so much better after that encounter.  and that there are strangers who leave behind surprises for those people to find: a token of gratitude, a memento that says "i'm still here."

peacemakers and good people shouldn't be scorned.  and i think from now on, i'll add a twist at the end of my stories.  i'll end them with a happily ever after.
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abofal
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Sep. 9th, 2008 @ 02:23 pm Posted using TxtLJ
i choose to reject things that make sense.
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hugh laurie
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Sep. 6th, 2008 @ 07:12 pm Posted using TxtLJ
711 its been raining for hours and its still pouring. roads closed because of flooding. fields are literally underwater. god...great day for a party.
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hugh laurie
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Sep. 4th, 2008 @ 02:12 pm Posted using TxtLJ
the way the road shined and glittered in the sunlight reminded me of a path of black sand we've walked along on a beach too far away now...
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hugh laurie
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Aug. 24th, 2008 @ 11:21 am Posted using TxtLJ
morning. just arrived in detroit. another two hours until i'm back home.
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hugh laurie
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Aug. 24th, 2008 @ 08:57 am Posted using TxtLJ
tama na. sino si la? in the airport now. no sleep last night =P
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hugh laurie
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Aug. 23rd, 2008 @ 02:03 pm Posted using TxtLJ
"you're just making yourself sound smart so he'll get off of you!" walking in at the wrong part of a conversation =P haha!
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hugh laurie
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Aug. 22nd, 2008 @ 03:45 pm Posted using TxtLJ
jestoni and derick blue are getting psyched over thomas the tank engine toys...god, i'm having fun watching them chant "toys, toys, toys" XD
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hugh laurie
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Aug. 19th, 2008 @ 02:12 pm Posted using TxtLJ
drawing, fishing/frog catching, strawberry marshmallow smores, top bunk, paddleboating, blue raspberry slushee, driving the truck around the lake. XP
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hugh laurie
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Aug. 17th, 2008 @ 03:14 pm Posted using TxtLJ
ah yah. sounds cool . have fun
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hugh laurie
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Aug. 17th, 2008 @ 02:33 pm Posted using TxtLJ
haha i was counting on it. cool =) played tennis really early this morning. what movie do you wanna watch?
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hugh laurie
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Aug. 17th, 2008 @ 02:26 pm Posted using TxtLJ
heading to stingray bay for swimming. and volleyball later in the backyard. aaron, if you're reading, how are you spending your sunday?
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hugh laurie
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Aug. 16th, 2008 @ 03:13 pm Posted using TxtLJ
chi-town. air force flying faster than the speed of sound. jet engines so friggin loud theyre worse than being next to the speakers at a rock concert.
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hugh laurie
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Jul. 29th, 2008 @ 12:28 am it's plain to see rapture inside of me
Current Music: i've been listening to musicals nonstop yesterday
The strongest feelings a person can feel are the ones that can't be written down.  Even if angels carried quills, if harpies had Sharpies(TM)...they wouldn't be able to capture the intense emotion that cannot be contained within paragraphs and pages.

That's why they sing.  When people sing, they convey passion through their eyes, the nervous quivering of their lips.  When people sing, it becomes difficult to feign what they don't feel inside.  The lyrics express so much emotion, whether it be excitement or embarrassment or anger.  And the meaning of the lyrics are only magnified when a melody is added -- a melody that makes sense.  A melody that perfectly fits, complements the tone of the words themselves.  No matter how beautiful the music is, no matter how inspiring the words are, the most important part of the song is the singer who gives new life to the song every time she sings it.  She is the one who gives it shape and form.  She can make it as free and expressive as she cares.  She can add her own personal touch to the song and make it her own so that no other singer can make it sound just like the way she does.

A ballad.  An aria.  A simple serenade.  We take them for granted when they are the most powerful forms of communication.  Think about it.  When a certain song from your childhood starts playing on the radio, doesn't it bring back memories in a split second that you buried years ago?  When a singer just blows you away with his or her voice, doesn't it leave you almost speechless (the only thing you can say to yourself is "Wow.  I really liked that.  I don't know why; it just made me feel good.")?

I once considered taking Music as my major in college...even getting a Master's Degree in Music.  But now I think that's a bit arrogant.  For music is true passion.  Music is suffering, music is devotion, music is revenge.  And no one should be so up in herself to be referred as "Master of All Emotion You'll Ever Dare to Feel".
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stephen fry
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